7 March :
7 Mar 1895 : Lecture: "The Vedanta philosophy: God" at NYC. Sponsored
and chaired by Mrs. Bull. (About 200 people attended the lecture)
7
Mar 1900 : Letter to Dhira Mata - You have been one friend with whom
Shri Ramakrishna has become the goal of life--that is the secret of my
trust in you. Others love me personally. But they little dream that what
they love me for is Ramakrishna; leaving
Him, I am only a mass of foolish selfish emotions. Anyway this stress
is terrible, thinking of what may come next, wishing what ought to come
next. I am unequal to the responsibility; I am found wanting. I must
give up this work....
7 Mar 1900 : Letter to Joe Joe : . I am so so in health. No money. Hard work. No result. Worse than Los Angeles.
They come in crowds when the lecture is free — when there is payment,
they don't. That's all. I have a relapse — for some days — and am
feeling very bad. I think lecturing every night is the cause. I hope to
do something in Oakland at least to work out my passage to New York,
where I mean to work for my passage to India. I may go to London if I
make money here to pay a few months' lodging there.
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