यतो धर्म: ततो जय:
Training of Nivedita - 3
The real significance of the name Swamji had given her – "Nivedita, one who is dedicated" – had not yet penetrated to the depths of her being. She knew to express herself in work and in emotions. But now deprived of her work, and prevented from expressing her love to what she knew she did not know how to express herself. Swamji wanted her to discover herself, to go deep within and dedicate herself to the One that has no second. It was only such rootedness in It; acquiring the vision of oneness beyond all diversities that would help her to understand India and her people. It appeared Swamiji was ruthlessly eradicating every sacrifice made in his name and every desire to follow him in his work. His attitude remained impersonal. Not once did he show more attention to her than to the other women, not once did he address her outside of the morning classes. It was a period of great clash and inner struggle for Nivedita.
During these days, the only ray of light she received was from Swami Swarupananda. He was appointed as her teacher in Bengali and Hindu Scriptures. Whenever Nivedita was bewildered by the utterly new ideas and feelings of the Swamiji, she referred to him. His elucidation helped her to understand the atmosphere in which they lived. He formed a sort of link between her Master's mind and her own, and Nivedita was grateful to him for all he did for her. He taught her the Gita, asked her to offer her past at the feet of Ishwara. From him she learnt to meditate. She benefited by the practice of meditation. Of course, it is not so easy to forget the past and thus the struggle and anguish within her that, 'How I could understand what my master is trying to tell me', continued. She never thought of giving up but the pain was intense.
Even in such anguish, only her steadfastness, her dedication ultimately brought her divine blessings. Mrs. Bull the oldest woman in the group spoke to Swamiji about Nivedita's internal strife when they were at Almora. He listened without replying. But he came again in the evening to their quarters when these three women were sitting on the veranda. He told to Mrs. Sarah Bull, 'You were right. There must be a change. I am going away into the forest to be alone, and when I come back I shall bring peace.' Then pointing to the new moon in the sky he said, 'The Mohammedans think much of the new moon. Let us with it begin new life!' Nivedita knelt before him; Swamiji blessed Nivedita. She writes about this, "Alone, in meditation, I found myself gazing deep into an Infinite Good, to the recognition of which no egoistic reasoning had led me. I learnt, too, on the physical plane, the simple everyday reality of the experience related in the Hindu books on religious psychology. And I understood, for the first time, that the greatest teachers may destroy in us a personal relation only in order to bestow the Impersonal Vision in its place."
To be Continue....During these days, the only ray of light she received was from Swami Swarupananda. He was appointed as her teacher in Bengali and Hindu Scriptures. Whenever Nivedita was bewildered by the utterly new ideas and feelings of the Swamiji, she referred to him. His elucidation helped her to understand the atmosphere in which they lived. He formed a sort of link between her Master's mind and her own, and Nivedita was grateful to him for all he did for her. He taught her the Gita, asked her to offer her past at the feet of Ishwara. From him she learnt to meditate. She benefited by the practice of meditation. Of course, it is not so easy to forget the past and thus the struggle and anguish within her that, 'How I could understand what my master is trying to tell me', continued. She never thought of giving up but the pain was intense.
Even in such anguish, only her steadfastness, her dedication ultimately brought her divine blessings. Mrs. Bull the oldest woman in the group spoke to Swamiji about Nivedita's internal strife when they were at Almora. He listened without replying. But he came again in the evening to their quarters when these three women were sitting on the veranda. He told to Mrs. Sarah Bull, 'You were right. There must be a change. I am going away into the forest to be alone, and when I come back I shall bring peace.' Then pointing to the new moon in the sky he said, 'The Mohammedans think much of the new moon. Let us with it begin new life!' Nivedita knelt before him; Swamiji blessed Nivedita. She writes about this, "Alone, in meditation, I found myself gazing deep into an Infinite Good, to the recognition of which no egoistic reasoning had led me. I learnt, too, on the physical plane, the simple everyday reality of the experience related in the Hindu books on religious psychology. And I understood, for the first time, that the greatest teachers may destroy in us a personal relation only in order to bestow the Impersonal Vision in its place."
हमें कर्म की प्रतिष्ठा बढ़ानी होंगी। कर्म देवो भव: यह आज हमारा जीवन-सूत्र बनना चाहिए। - भगिनी निवेदिता {पथ और पाथेय : पृ. क्र.१९ }
Sister Nivedita 150th Birth Anniversary : http://www.sisternivedita.org
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