A sadhak writes...

Why does desire cause suffering. How do you stop wanting things ?

If we enjoyed desiring then we wouldn't bother trying to fulfill desires. The fact that we feel the need to satisfy our desires demonstrates that we are not happy with being in a state of desire. 

However, at no point can I really say that I have fought myself over desire or suppressed desires. Instead, I have focused on happiness. 

When your focus is on happiness, then your wanting of things and dance with desire take on a different meaning. Do the things you want make you happy? Is that happiness deep, penetrating, peaceful, and lasting? Or does your desire require you to chase after the same things in different forms again and again?

If your focus is on things, this whole thinking process going on in mind goes unnoticed. If your focus is on happiness, you soon realize how ineffective such a path is when it comes to discovering your nature of joy and wholeness. 

The whole idea is that desire is suffering, but because we depend on desire in order to orient our sense of happiness, passion, and love, we don't understand the real meaning of desirelessness. 

"All I plead with you is this: make love of your self perfect. Deny yourself nothing - give your self infinity and eternity, and discover that you do not need them; you are beyond." ~ Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

If you can satisfy a desire fully, then do so and be done with it. If you satisfy a desire and notice yourself feeling it again later on, then you know that you aren't really desiring what you thought you were. If you can't satisfy a desire, then obliterate the delusion that made the desire possible in the first place. 

That's been my approach and it's worked out pretty well so far. 

 

Desire....

* "Desires are never satisfied, not even by a shower of gold. He who knows that the enjoyment of passion is short-lived and that it is also the womb of pain is a wise man."

* "The disciple of the Supremely Enlightened takes delight in the destruction of desire."

* "The man who has killed all desires…he indeed is exalted among men."

* "It is not good conduct that puts you on the path to liberation, nor will ritual do it, nor book learning, nor seclusion and solitude, nor meditation. None of these alone can bring mastery or joy. It is desirelessness that does it."

* "Those who seek perfection must keep watch by day and night until all desires vanish."

* "From passion and desire, sensuousness and lust, arise grief and fear. Free yourself from attachment."

* "The master…cuts all ties. He gives up all his desires. He resists all temptations. And he rises. And wherever he lives, in the city or the country, in the valley or in the hills, there is great joy. Even in the empty forest he finds joy, because he desires nothing."

* "Desire nothing."

* "Desire never crosses the path of virtuous wakeful men. Their brightness sets them free."

* "Let us, then, free from the disease of desire, live happily amongst those who suffer that disease; among men with disease of desire let us dwell free from that disease."

The above are just ten of many such statements found in the Dhammapada, which is the basic and foundational scripture of Buddhism, being a collection in just over 420 verses of Gautama Buddha's sayings. It is clear there and elsewhere that he did indeed mean what he said in the Four Noble Truths…that "desire is the cause of all suffering" and that the extinguishing of desire will equate to the extinguishing of suffering.

Desire : The cause of troubles

The four noble truths

After Buddha gave up worldly life and sat down for mediation under the Bodhi tree, he attained enlightenment. He laid down his teachings in easily understandable language for the common man in the form of Four Noble truths.

First Noble Truth - To live means to suffer

Until the age of 29, Prince Siddhartha was confined to the four walls of the palace by his father. When he first stepped out of the palace, he saw four things which left a deep impact in his tender and naïve mind: a new born baby, a crippled old man, a sick man and the corpse of a dead man.

The Prince, who had been brought up in the lap of luxury, oblivious to the suffering in the world outside the palace, was deeply perturbed when he saw death, misery, and suffering with his own eyes.

During his meditation, he realized that 'life is suffering.' The reason for this being the fact that human beings are not perfect. Likewise, the world inhabited by them is also ridden with imperfections.

The Buddha realized that during their journey through life, a human being has to endure many sufferings- physical and psychological- in the form of old age, sickness, separation from beloved ones, deprivation, encounters with unpleasant situations and people, lamentation, sorrow and suffering.

All these misfortunes befall human beings because they are subject to desires and cravings. If they are able to get what they aspire for, they derive pleasure or satisfaction. But this joy or pleasure is also short lived and does not last too long. If it does tend to last too long, the pleasure associated with it becomes monotonous and fades away.

Second Noble Truth - The origin of suffering is attachment

The second noble truth tells us that the root of all suffering is attachment. To avoid suffering, we need to understand what causes suffering and then weeding out these causes from our lives.

According to Buddha, the basic cause of suffering is "the attachment to the desire to have (craving) and the desire not to have (aversion)".

All of us have desires and cravings. Since we cannot satisfy ALL our desires and cravings, we get disturbed and angry, which is but another manifestation of suffering.

The same holds good for people who are over ambitious and seek too much. As they achieve what they desire, they get lustful and want more of it. And so the vicious circle continues.

The other problem pointed out by Buddha here, which is very pertinent, is that denying desire (or depriving oneself) is like denying life itself. A person, he said, has to rise above attachments and for that, he need not deprive himself. The problem arises when he does not know where to put an end to his desires. And when he yields into his desires, he becomes a slave to them.

Third Noble Truth - The cessation of suffering is attainable

Buddha stated that to put an end to suffering, we need to control our desires or practice non-attachment. This may sound difficult but can be achieved through diligent practice.

This liberation from attachment and sorrow frees the mind of all troubles and worries. The attainment of this liberation is called "Nirvana" in Sanskrit.

Fourth Noble Truth - The path to the cessation of suffering

Buddha says that salvation (Nirvana) is a condition that can be attained by leading a balanced life. And to lead a balanced life, one needs to follow the Eightfold path which is a 'gradual path of self-improvement.'